I have been judged.

I recently heard from someone that I have low expectations of the people around me and of myself. I think that is wrong. I do not believe that I have low expectations for anyone. I believe that people make decisions based on what they know, and that comes from two sources, what they were taught and what they have experienced. People experience different things, and are taught different values. People choose their own lives based on the limited knowledge they have (of course, with the clear exception being those who are enslaved or were born into some type of caste system; they don't choose at all).

Now to clarify my point before, I don't have low expectations of people. I have none. To have expectations of people where it was not communicated and agreed to is to put yourself on a moral pedestal, where you give yourself the power to judge that person and decide whether that person has met your standards yet, instead of letting them decide on their own whether they have met theirs. In a sense, that strips away the freedom of the person being judged. That person no longer have the right to exist as they want to. That person no longer has the right to choose his or her path. I believe that the person being judged loses his or her freedom when he or she succumbs to these unspoken expectations. I believe that the person becomes free again when he or she decides to do what I have done, which is choose not to be judged.

Those of you who are closest to me have seen me react poorly to being judged in the past. I have become angry, agitated. I blew up and, without naming specific individuals, I posted my thoughts in a very upset manner. I clearly stated then, as I do now, that unless I agree to it, I rarely do what I am told. However, I apologize for the anger in which I responded. I used to think that I should never accept or even acknowledge any judgments that anyone made of me. I should have realized, as I realize now, that the people who make these judgments do so because they believe that it helps me in some way. In a painful sense, these people are trying to watch out for me. Thank you for that, and I love you more for it.

However, those of you who know me best know that my freedom is absolutely a part of me. Those of you who know me best know that I will still choose my own path, and choose to do what I want to do and BE who I want to be.

I have been judged, and I do not like the feeling. However, if I acknowledge your judgment, know that it is because I love you and I know that you love me; know that it is because I actually care what you think that it affects me. For those of you who know me best, know that I value your opinion. I just may not take it.